Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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