Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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