One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
