i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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