Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
