I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
