What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
