you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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