I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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