My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
