My Higher Power is John Stamos
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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