i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
