Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
this will be a night to untag.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
