I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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