i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
