I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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