I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
