finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I need a beard to bite.
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