yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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