I'm drive I can fine osifer
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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