rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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