her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
