So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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