I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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