So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
