he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
