Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
