I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
