Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
