Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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