after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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