I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
