i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
