You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
