All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize