I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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