oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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