Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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