Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have aggressive nipples.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
