Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Randomize
