Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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