How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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