Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Randomize