she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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