we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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