And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
