if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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