he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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