some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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