I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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