Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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