no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
