They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
