Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
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