Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
