Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
The Olympian is in my bed
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize