I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
