piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
