highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
