He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
