I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
