I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
