I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
