we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
