tell your sister to shave her snatch
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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