i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
