I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No subtext here. People are naked.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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