I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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