i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
