I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
