I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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